This post was made in a free verse stream of consciousness. I have not and will not edit anything from this post. Here it is warts and all. More like art than prose.
I was talking to a buddy today that is having issues with balance. He didn’t see them as balance, he was way to busy putting out fires and being overworked to see that. I am lucky that I am in a constantly in a situation where balance and my awareness of it is called into question on a constant basis. But few live in my sphere of influence, and I haven’t been here as long as you may think.
By reading this blog or hanging out with me on social media you may not know but I am a computer nerd. I am a decade and a half long GNU/Linux User, I was an Ambassador and Marketing Team Member of the Fedora Project, I have 3 servers in my home, I was the Director of a Hardware Co-Op (a place that takes unwanted computing equipment and refurbishes it for the underprivileged), I did 4 or so podcasts, I even travelled 13 hours by bus to go to a LinuxFest! That’s right I am a gigantic nerd. This made me very happy for a very long time, but it changed the way my brain worked.
I remember during these years having arguments with my significant other (SO) about, why can’t you be logical! Why can’t you talk in a structured manner! Stories would meander like a hike in the woods, but what I wanted was a clear man page (man pages are like short Wikipedia articles on how to use a program in Linux) or technical documentation. My attention span was about 10 seconds. I needed popup notifications, and bells, and chimes, and flashing text, and, and I needed more input. Or so I thought.
When I started doing Kung-Fu that started to change. What I needed was movement, and fewer distractions, and accomplishments, and to constantly improve. Or so I thought.
Life is about balance. The Author Cory Doctorow once said “Engineers are all basically high-functioning autistics who have no idea how normal people do stuff.” (Eastern Standard Tribe, 2004) and I don’t disagree. All computer nerds have a certain level of Social Retardation. It’s what happens when your passion keeps you from face to face social interaction.
Notice I said FACE TO FACE interaction. Facebook, reddit, IRC, forums, mailinglists, and Skype are not face to face interactions.
OK so all I need to do is hang out with people in meat space, right!?! Well yes and no. What you need to do is diversify who you are hanging out with. Remember when I said that Kung-Fu was the solution to everything but then it wasn’t? You can spend too much time with improvers too. Not just Kung-Fu people but Financial Coaches, Health Experts, and Self Help Gurus. I didn’t really realize this until I dislocated my knee cap and tore my ACL. I was on the couch for a month while my insurance was sorted out. So since I couldn’t get in to do Kung-Fu I figured I should check in with my old computer pals. I found out they were not evil people who kept you from getting exercise, kept you wanting to buy stuff, and weirdo automatons (ok some of them may actually be weirdo automatons). They are just people. It was technology or my friends that was the issue… the issue is balance. It’s all about balance.
I hear it often that you are an amalgamation of the 5 people you spend the most time with. I believe this. So you need to pick this group carefully. Get 5 people on your “Social Team” that are from different groups. I do still think that negative people should still be if not avoided, should have limited contact. But yeah, consciously pick your Social Team, pick from as broad a population as you can.
I try to balance my time (whether face to face or in some type of media) between Comedians and Artists (they have spoken to my soul more than any preacher I have ever talked to) , Improvement People, Nerds (this includes Gun people, yes gun people are nerds), My SO (We influence each other greatly), and the people I grew up with (as long as they are not destructively negative).
So there you are, now shoot out your five love tendrals and attach to your Social Team, you know scratch that, you Social Tribe. Shoot out your five love tendrals and attach to your Social Tribe to create a vast symbiotic meta being. A Voltron of Love and Belonging. Strike fear and anguish into hatred and loneliness. Big Kiss, mwah!
Hey did you know I have a mailinglist? It’s pretty awesome I have all kinds of tips and tricks in there to supercharge your full life upgrade.
go to https://kungfuwithwashu.com/join-the-team/ to sign up.
Ok so the title is a little misleading. I’m on Elliot Hulse’s mailinglist an I got this email today, and it made me realize that I am the same way! I’ll let you read it and then I’ll jump back in.
Fine morning Kings and Queens ,
Whether you are aware of it or not, you are the Orderer
of your life.
Your thoughts, hopes, fears, dreams and action are like the
bulldozer and and cranes by which you build your life.
Making you the foreman, top contractor, conductor and KING of
No one can take that away from you.
No matter what your circumstances, YOU are in full control
of your thoughts, hopes, fears, dreams and actions…. therefore,
YOU are the creator of your experiences.
When we take full ownership for our experiences, no matter how
pleasing or painful, we begin to shape the world around us.
You are THAT powerful.
Earlier this week we spoke about Love Languages, and how
we tend to love other people the way we ourselves like to be
It reminds me of the fact that I DO NOT care so much for awards,
or physical gifts.
Not that there is anything wrong with giving and pursing love though gifts
and awards; I just happened to be a words-of-affirmation kinda guy.
I prefer to be told I’m doing a good job, rather than awarded
When I was in hot pursuit of Strongman trophies back in 2006-2010
I was racking up award after award, winning more and bigger shows.
Above is a picture with Tom Mitchell and I after winning my Pro-card
Tom was my first, and only, Strongman coach.
What you may not notice in this picture is that I was far more pleased
and nurtured by Tom’s handshake and his soft but powerful affirmation,
“I am proud of you Elliott” — rather than the trophy I’m holding.
In my hand is the biggest and most prestigious trophy I’ve ever
won in my four-year Strongman career, and it meant sh*t to me
compared to Tom’s kind words of affirmation.
I have a question for those of you who are competing in the years
Strength Camp Challenge….
What are you most excited about?
* The thrill of the pursuit?
* Setting and achieving the goal?
* Cheering and excitement of the crowd?
* The $10,000 cash prize?
* Or just a warm pat on your back, accompanied by the words “I am
proud of you”?
It’s a good idea to know what our real motives are, so when we
reach our goal — we can rest, enjoy and be at piece in it…
Rather than feeling empty, jipped or ripped off.
Remember, you are the creator of your life… so its up to you to be
clear about what makes you feel good, and what is just an empty
Today, most of my Strongman trophies and awards are stowed away
in a box somewhere.
But Tom’s words-of-affirmation still reverberate in my ears and heart.
Just a heads-up…
The entry fee for The Strength Camp Challenge is going up pretty
So, if you are still thinking about joining us and competing for the
cash prize and a pat on the back 😉 — then be sure to click here and
Those of you who plan on joining us as a spectator, to meet me and
about 10 other YouTube celebrities— PLUS our massive after-party,
you can get all the info here too.
Wow I am the same way! Getting awards and trophies really don’t mean that much to me. I am actually equal parts embarrassed and proud when people ask about them. Just the title of this email warmed my heart. Is Elliot truly proud of me? I doubt it he doesn’t even know me, but I do represent the type of person he is proud of.
We don’t need to seek individual praise for what we are doing. Realize when someone is praising a group that you belong to that… THEY ARE ALSO TALKING ABOUT YOU!!! If you say something nice about my kwoon (Kung-Fu school) about a member of my team at Team Beachbody, or any of the people I teach. You are also saying something nice about me.
OK time to go, big kiss other equal parts of the larger meta being! Mwah!
Hey did you know I have a mailinglist? It’s pretty awesome I have all kinds of tips and tricks in there to supercharge your full life upgrade.
go to https://kungfuwithwashu.com/join-the-team/ to sign up.
The Beachbody Blog posted a great article called “10 Popular Diet Tips to Ignore” you’ll want to read the article for the Better Advice, but below I have listed the Bad Advice some of which I have given in the past!
- Choose fat-free or sugar-free foods.
- No cheating ever!
- Stop snacking.
- Don’t eat fruit—it’s full of sugar.
- If it’s organic, it’s good for you.
- Calories in, calories out—it doesn’t matter what you eat.
- Try XYZ Extreme Diet—it works for everyone!
- When in doubt, order the salad.
- Don’t exercise—it’ll only make you hungrier.
- Treat yourself for a job well done!
What’s the worst diet advice you’ve ever received?
A new, more healthy lifestyle is waiting for you. The first step is a FREE account at beachbodycoach.com/washu
Today we have a great guest post from Jack Canfield Creator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® books.
5 simple ways to improve your intimate relationships – with this overlooked Success Principle
Intimate relationships are one of the greatest – if not THE greatest – sources of joy in life.
But creating and maintaining a successful relationship takes time and energy – and growing it to the point of true intimacy takes courage and a willingness to be vulnerable.
With so many different things competing for our attention these days, it’s all too easy to find excuses not to put in the effort needed to grow and maintain the relationships we need to thrive.
And so we find ourselves in a world where too many relationships fall apart before they’ve reached their true potential.
Lovers drift apart because they’ve never developed the deep sense of connection required to overcome the stumbling blocks that occur in every relationship. Partners share a bed but not a life. Spouses sit side by side on the sofa but never share their deepest thoughts and feelings with each other – then wake up one day to discover that the person sleeping beside them is a stranger.
The good news is, it doesn’t have to be this way.
You can easily grow and maintain healthy intimate relationships using one of my simplest yet most effective Success Principles: goal-setting.
Planning and foresight are sexy
Goal-setting is one of the most powerful Success Principles – yet I see few people using it within the context of creating healthy intimate relationships. Which is crazy, because if you set a concrete, achievable goal for yourself, you are far more likely to achieve it – no matter what that goal happens to be.
A study conducted by David Kohl, professor emeritus at Virginia Tech, showed that Americans who write down their goals and reviewed them regularly earned nine times more over the course of their lifetimes than those who didn’t set goals.
This particular study focused on financial achievement, but the power of goal setting can be applied in every area of your life, including your intimate relationships.
Here are my top 5 tips on how to use the power of goal-setting to enjoy deeper, more authentic relationships with your loved ones:
1. Get specific about what you want
Vague goals produce vague results. It’s not enough to say that you want to “spend more quality time together.”
To achieve real results, you want to be specific and state your goal in a way that you and anybody else could measure it. Get clear on what you’re going to do – how much or many actions – and by when.
“I will take my spouse out for dinner once a month and schedule one evening a week to hang out together without any TV or screens, so we can spend more time talking and enjoying each other’s company.”
“We will set aside two hours for a heart talk next Saturday so we can discuss the things that have been bothering us and gain a deeper, more sympathetic understanding of how the other person feels. At the end of the talk we will each commit to taking 3 actions to make our life together more enjoyable for both of us.”
By saying what you’re going to do – and when you’re going to do it by – you make it possible to determine how well you’ve managed to reach your goal.
2. Write it down in detail
Once you’ve gotten clear on what actions you’d like to take to improve your intimate relationship, write them down in detail. Be sure to include the outcome you hope to achieve through your actions, so you can visualize what your life will be like once you accomplish your goal.
“I will take my spouse out for dinner once a month and schedule one evening a week to hang out together without any TV or screens, so we can spend more time talking and enjoying each other’s company. We will share deep, soul-baring conversations that help us create a united vision of what our dream future will look like – and our increased intimacy and sense of partnership will greatly enrich all areas of our life together.”
The better able you’re able to identify what you truly want, the easier it will be for you to work toward it – and achieve it. The universe will conspire to help you!
3. Set goals that make you uncomfortable
It’s good to have a goal that makes you feel a little uncomfortable. Why? Because your ultimate goal (beyond your relationship goals) should be to grow as a person and become a master at life. To do this, you need to stretch your horizons – and learn new skills, expand your vision of what’s possible, and overcome whatever fears and roadblocks are standing in your way.
In the process, you’ll build the confidence, wisdom, and self-esteem you need to open yourself more fully to your significant other and achieve a deeper level of intimacy that will enrich your life.
4. Reread your goals 2-3 times a day
Once you’ve written down your relationship goals, review your list two or three times every day.
Take the time to really focus on each goal. Read the list (out loud with passion and enthusiasm if you are in an appropriate place) one goal at a time. Close your eyes and picture each goal as if it were already accomplished – then take a few more seconds to feel what you would feel if you had already accomplished each goal.
By following this daily discipline of success, you’ll activate the creative power of your subconscious mind. Your brain will want to close the gap between your current reality and the vision of your goal – and that will increase your motivation, stimulate your creativity, and heighten your awareness of opportunities that will help you achieve your goal.
5. Get ready to confront some fears and roadblocks
When you set your relationship goals, you’ll probably find yourself confronting some long-standing fears and roadblocks.
For example, maybe you set the goal of spending more quality time with your spouse. Then you realize that means saying “no” to your boss when he asks you to work overtime on the evenings and weekends – and you worry about the impact this will have on your career.
Maybe you worry that opening yourself up to your spouse or partner will leave you vulnerable to rejection – or that if you ask for the truth, you’re not going to like what you get.
It’s important to remember that there is always a solution to any obstacle – you just have to look for it.
If you want to spend more time with your family but still need to put in a certain amount of hours at the office, ask your boss if you can come in a couple of hours early on weekdays so you can make sure to get your evenings and weekends off.
If your attempts to connect at a deeper level are met with initial rejection, be patient – your spouse or partner may need time to face their own fears or roadblocks before being able to meet you halfway. Even if you discover that all your worst fears about the relationship are real, at least now you have the opportunity to move forward in truth and integrity to solve the problem together or let each other go – and open yourself to the opportunity of entering into relationship with someone else who better meets your needs.
And don’t forget, all these potential setbacks are part of the goal-setting process – both in your relationships and in all other areas of your life. If these challenges don’t appear, it means you haven’t set a goal that’s big enough to stretch you and grow you – and there’s no real potential for self-development.
The effort and risk are more than worth it
Cultivating an authentic intimate connection with another person is one of the most profoundly enriching experiences life has to offer. But you can’t expect such relationships to just fall into your lap. You have to take action and make them happen.
Goal-setting is one of the best possible ways to do that. With just a bit of planning and foresight, you can enjoy deeper, more fulfilling intimate relationships that will make all areas of your life so much sweeter.
Have you ever used goal-setting as a relationship tool? Or is there another Success Principle you’ve used to improve your intimate relationships? Tell us about it in the comments!
Jack Canfield, America’s #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul® and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: http://www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
Upset that you don’t have abs like an MMA fighter? Or the booty of a Kardashian? Or a starlette’s post-baby bod? Even if you don’t compare yourself to celebrities, have you ever struggled with accepting your stretch marks, loose skin, or your overall shape? Let’s face it, there probably isn’t a person on the planet who doesn’t have a feature they would like to “improve.”
However, focusing on what you don’t like about our bodies (and many other things) leads nowhere, fast. Not only does a negative self-image get you down it can also be a drag on your health, suggests new research in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine.
Researchers at Bucknell University evaluated the level of body shame undergraduate women had based on how they rated different questions on a questionnaire. These questions included: “When I’m not the size I think I should be, I feel ashamed.” “I often wish I had a better body,” and “Looking through fashion magazines makes me wish I had a better body.” (Click here to download the PDF and see all the questions).
They then asked the women to describe how many infections they’d had, how often they felt ill, and how healthy they thought they were. The verdict? Women with higher levels of body shame also reported more infections.
So the next time you want to disparage your thighs or your lack of a six-pack, cut yourself some slack. A 2014 study published in the journal Mindfulness found that those who practiced self-compassion exercises (not surprisingly) felt less body shame and more body satisfaction. This Nurturing Seeds practice may help.
If you’re in the process of getting fit, remember, it’s a journey. Getting frustrated with yourself along the way isn’t going to help the process. In fact, it might slow it down.
I know this seems outside the scope of Martial Arts/Self Defence and Fitness. And it is, but I think Preparedness is still Kung-Fu. I became interested in preparedness after a personal disaster. I was evicted from my home and lost my job in the same week. This was actually the culmination of a year of suicidal depression. I decided this was never going to happen again. The stress was just too much.
This post is not starting from the beginning. Fire, Shelter, Water, and Food need to be covered first. These are just some cool ideas I saw on Youtube and thought I would share. Stay tuned for more posts on this topic.
Perimeter Alarms are a good way to create a little piece of mind when you could use it the most. Even out camping sometimes just knowing nothing was rooting through your camp can help you sleep at night.
1. DIY Perimeter Trip Wire Alarm
2. Two DIY Mouse Trap Alarms for SHTF
3. PREPPING -Tips, Tricks & Know-how EP4. $1.00 perimeter trip alarms